Jessica Day gets sabotaged by her babybox: 2nd edition
by loadofschmidt
Summary: Nick learns a little about female anatomy when Jess' period comes to visit unexpectedly. ** Rework of menzies - like... a complete rework (basically completely different except set at the same time). (Rated T because I drop the 'S' bomb every now and then).


7:42am. That's when Jess' eyes shot open. That's when Jess realised her own body had betrayed her.

Jumping out of bed, she began checking all the normal spots. Emptying the contents of her underwear drawer with no success, she slammed it closed and let out a big groan, not giving a single care of who she may have awoken.

Hearing a soft knock on the door she rubbed her eyes hard with her hands.

"WHAT?" she yelled.

"Uhh, just checking up on you, Jess... Seems to be a lot of banging going on for not even 8 o'clock on a Saturday morning…" Schmidt peaked his head through the door, speaking super dramatic.

"It's here…"

"WHAT?" Schmidt stepped further into her room and placed a hand to his forehead. "But I feel like the last one only just finished?"

"I KNOW, SCHMIDT, THAT'S WHY I'M PISSED." She pulled her drawer out, just so she could slam it back in again and Schmidt swallowed hard.

"Jessica, honey, calm down." He nodded sympathetically like he understood what she was feeling in her ovaries. "You need me to get you anything? A hot tea?"

"You can get out of my room."

"Well, I'm so-rry for trying to help, Ms Day." Schmidt walked out with a huff.

* * *

One tampon. One measly little piece of rolled up material was the only thing she could find in the entire loft. The only thing she could find to provide some sort of comfort from what she could have sworn was the worst period of her entire existence.

Lying in a position that quite resembled that of a foetus, something Jess wished she had in her body at that exact time, she stared blankly at the tv. She was watching a fishing show and getting all teary over how the guys kept letting the fish go back into the water ("These guys would rather save the fish than feed themselves. The world can be a beautiful place").

She'd been there for two hours. Not moving. Not really making conversation with anyone but herself and the fishing guys, and the loft mates were beginning to get whiney.

"You gotta get her up, Schmidt." Winston whispered through his teeth.

"I'm not going over there Winston, I tried to help her this morning and she almost threw her panty drawer at my face. It's your turn my friend."

So Winston wandered over to the couch, sitting down on the table in front of her.

"How are you feeling, Jess?" He asked in the sweetest tone he could. The same tone he uses to talk to Furguson just before he gets his butt pill.

She closed her eyes for a moment and let off a pissed off sigh. Opening them to stare at him.

"I'm feeling like you're blocking my show, Winston." She stated bluntly.

His eyes went wide and he looked to Schmidt, who had a worried look on his face.

"We just want to he – "

"NICK!" Jess interrupted Winston with a scream.

"Holy shit Jess, what's going on?" Only a couple of seconds later a sleepy and pyjama clad Nick shot out of his bedroom with a worried look.

"Can you come here for a minute?" She spoke soft and kinda vulnerable, completely opposite to how she had responded to Winston literally seconds ago. That made Winston tense up.

"Uhhh, is everything okay?"

She brought him closer and closer until she could just whisper in his ear.

"Winston, Schmidt.." Nick rose to his feet. "Jess has requested you leave the loft for the day. She said, and I quote 'I can't deal with these jerkoffs right now.'"

Winston headed straight for the door and grabbed his keys.

"Yeah, you know I-I was actually planning on heading out like right now… See you guys..." He stuttered nervously as he left.

But Schmidt didn't make it so easy for her. Leaving his spot in the kitchen to stand beside Nick.

"You're going to let this lazy gorilla stay but I have to leave?" Schmidt said, sounding like a toddler who's sibling just got the last lollipop.

Jess slammed her head into the pillow and let off a moan.

"Woah, okay, will you let me wake up properly before you start slamming me." Nick leaned forward and gave Jess a gentle rub on her back. "Jess, are you okay?" He let his voice get a little raspy, to which Jess let out another moan.

"Ohhhh…" Schmidt raised his eyebrows as if the penny had dropped. "I know what this is about. This is about YOU TWO. I've seen the looks. I've smelt the energy. Are you pleasuring Jessica, Nicholas? Because you know that breaks ALL KINDS of rules. I will NOT tolerate whatever this is -" He began waving his hand between the two of them "In my loft. I just won't tolerate it."

"Schmidt, would you just shut up?" Nick squinted his eyes and shook his head, trying his best to whisper. "I honestly have no idea what's happening right now."

Jess rolled over and frowned at Nick vulnerably, quickly turning to Schmidt with the look of the devil in her eyes.

"There is NOTHING going on with me and Nick. Maybe it's me and you, Schmidt. Maybe I just CAN'T BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW." But that wasn't exactly true.

Her and Nick had a little thing going on. Nothing serious. Just flirty glances back and forward. The occasional unnecessary brush of the arm. Also the fact that she really liked hanging out with him and she didn't care if he knew about it. She couldn't quite put her finger on why, but for some reason Nick Miller had crawled up and taken shelter in her heart and he was just about the only person she could deal with right now.

Nick ran a hand down his face, still no clue what was happening, but feeling a little burnt after what Jess had said. Okay, so nothing 'physical' was happening and neither of them had put anything on the table. But he thought maybe there was a little more than –

"Nicholas, please inform us, what happens during a woman's period?" Schmidt interrupted his train of thought in that stupid and degrading tone he always used when he was about to prove someone wrong.

Nick's eyes went huge as he stared into Schmidt's. His entire body stiffening up and his back beginning to sweat. He could feel Jess' eyes drilling into him and he thought death was a better option than the situation he was in.

"Uhh-well-I…" he began to mumble nervously and Schmidt let out an arrogant huff.

"I rest my case. This is who you want to take care of you right now, Jessica? Even though, I have been told on several occasions, I am a vagenius. I just understand vaginas, okay? And Nick over here? Well, Nick never even went to middle school health class, did you Nick?"

"THAT'S ENOUGH." Jess yelled, leaping to her feet like she was about to kill him. Nick quickly jumped in between, grabbing Jess' forearms which were raised in punching position and taking a deep breath, encouraging her to do the same. When she finally did, he gave her a soft smile.

"I'll get rid of him, Jess." And she could have just melted there and then.

And he did exactly that. He politely removed Schmidt from the loft, slowly beginning to realise what he had just signed himself up for.

He wandered to the kitchen and began boiling the kettle. Moments later, Jess slid up beside him.

"It huuuuuuuurts." She cried, hands on her tummy as she leaned her head against his arm. He let off a low chuckle, sending a vibration through her whole body along with it.

"Peppermint?" He mumbled and she nodded. Then they just stood there in silence for a few moments, Nick getting her tea ready while she let her body weight fall completely on him.

It was nice, the quietness they could share. They had reached that level where they didn't need to talk anymore. They could just exist with each other. And Nick Miller, the guy who was never himself around women, was always himself around her.

He passed her the tea and placed a hand on her back as he guided her back to the couch.

"You know, Jess, you're making me feel pretty special right now." He chuckled, feeling it was time to spark some form of conversation. And also secretly hoping that would maybe trigger a specific confession of love on her behalf.

She let off a breathy laugh, sitting down on the couch. It was kind of an open ended laugh, like maybe she was about to say something, but she was just finding the right words. And in her head, she wanted to. But she didn't really know why she had chosen him over the others and why he was the one person she wanted to be with at that point. So she just gave him a soft smile, taking a sip from her tea.

"Were you watching the fishing show, Jess?" He laughed, taking a seat next to her real close and letting his arm fall along the couch behind her head. "It's such a great show, right? And they always let the fish go back into the water afterwards."

Jess rolled her eyes and let her head fall back onto his arm. Suck shit uterus, Nick Miller's aura was already fighting the pain away.

* * *

An hour later, Jess woke up to Nick carefully trying to reach the remote from the table. Her head was now resting on his lap and he was rubbing his hand gently and rhythmically along her side.

"Shit, sorry Jess, I was trying not to wake you." She sat up and tried to tuck her messy bangs behind her ears a few times.

"I need tampons." She mumbled mid yawn.

Nick met her eyes and raised a brow.

"Do you want me to, like, call Cece or something?" He tried to sound casual but he felt quite the opposite.

"You're gonna call Cece to bring me tampons?" she raised an eyebrow at him and let off a questioning laugh.

"Uhh, I just – where do you even get them? Am I allowed to buy them?"

"No Nick, it's an international rule that men aren't allowed to purchase sanitary equipment." She went to stand up, instantly regretting it and throwing her hands back to her stomach. Nick watched her flinch and pulled her back to her seat.

"Jess, sit." He hated seeing her like that. All vulnerable and hurting. And he wished he didn't. "You stay here, okay? I'll be right back."

Throwing a hoodie over his head, he grabbed his keys and left the loft, not too phased by the fact his boxers could barely pass as appropriate shorts for the public eye. But he didn't care, he'd do anything for Jess.

Or at least he would try.

As soon as he made it to the car he pulled out his mobile.

"Mum?" He asked as soon as she picked up.

"Whats wrong Nicky? Is everything alright?"

"Yeh, look, weird question but uhh – do you know where I can by.." He swallowed before saying the next word "tampons?"

His mum couldn't help but laugh.

"Is there something you need to tell me, Nick?" she joked.

"ha ha very funny. It's just, you know, my roommate Jess?" He asked nervously.

"The girl you never shut up about every time you call me, Nick? Yes, I think I recall a Jess."

"Oh my god, mum? Just – where can I get some, and quick?"

"Just go to the supermarket, Nicky. And maybe buy her some chocolates or something, you know? Comfort food." Her voice turned a little softer over the phone.

"Chocolates, got it. Thanks ma."

* * *

Pulling up at the supermarket, he started feeling a little anxious.

 _It's just some tampons, Nick. No big deal. You'll be in and out before you know it._ He began rehearsing to himself as he made his way to the entrance. "Hi, yep, just these thanks. Not for me. For a friend."

And for the most of it, it was simple. He found the aisle, quick smart. And he had no problem finding the tampon section, because they were literally everywhere. A million different colours, sizes, brands. He felt his back begin to sweat. He was not prepared for this.

He contemplated pulling out his phone and calling Jess. But he really wanted to prove to her he could be the man she could rely on.

Seeing the shop assistant walk by, he jumped out and grabbed her attention.

"Excuse me… Umm... What one is like 'the standard' like what's the ones everyone likes?" He mumbled as he drew her attention to the large display of tampons.

"I'm really sorry, sir, I can't help you there. It really comes down to personal choice." The young girl giggled.

"Okay but, what would you pick?" He closed his eyes realising what an idiot he sounded like.

"Me?" She raised an eyebrow. "I'm definitely into these ones right now." She leaned forward, passing him a packet, before she was interrupted by an older woman shopping behind her.

"Son, if you're having trouble, the safest bet is to go with some pads." She turned him round to see the opposite wall filled with a whole wall filled with pads. He felt like he was going to pass out.

It seemed as if he had been standing there for hours, with what felt like millions of women coming up and handing him their personal preference of sanitary ware, until his hands were full.

Heading over the the registers he added a couple of blocks of her favourite chocolate to the pile and began to pay for his items, which racked up quite the bill.

* * *

Walking through the doors of the loft with three full shopping bags, Jess raised an eyebrow and laughed.

"Get lost at the supermarket, buddy?"

He suddenly felt super embarrassed, he couldn't even make a basic decision. Until he saw the biggest smile ever cross her cheeks as she began to look through the bags.

"That was so freaking stressful, Jessica." He broke out into laughter as he watched her do the same. "Honestly, I called my mum, I had like forty women describe the pros and cons of their personal favourite brand." By this point, Jess was crying of laughter, leaning her head onto his chest as the tears streamed down her face and he continued mumbling about how that experience had single handedly changed his life.

After she managed to compose herself, she grabbed a packet from the bag, explaining to Nick she didn't really care and usually just went for the cheapest ones, and headed for a shower.

He stood there smiling for a few moments. Just thinking about her and how he really would do anything for her. Go into a haunted house, build her furniture for her while her 'boy toy' scored the rewards and now, he could add shopping for her 'lady' things to the list.

Jess spent her whole shower thinking about him. Not in a weird, naked, sexual way – even though that wouldn't have been the first time… and maybe it was the fact her hormones were in over drive, or maybe it was the fact that her mind couldn't pin point what she felt for him. She couldn't help but compare him to Sam. The hot doctor who had only just a week ago admitted to her he didn't want anything but sex from her. And the idea that that wasn't enough for her. The idea that she needed a guy to look out for her, be there for her. She wanted someone she could rely on and even though this messy, grumpy and scruffy roommate of hers was a real pain in the ass, there was never a moment he wasn't there for her.

She chuckled at the thought. Nick Miller, being swamped by ladies in the supermarket sanitary aisle. The guy that freaked out if he saw a pad wrapper lying around. The guy that left the room every time a female body part was mentioned mid conversation. And the guy she desperately wanted to make out with in the rain.

Yep, with that thought, she hit the cold water and shook her head. Definitely her _baby box talking_. She attempted to convince herself.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, she wandered out of her bedroom in a pair of trackies and an oversized jumper. Looking around the living room to see the lights were out and the smell of pop tarts filled the room. Hearing the toaster pop, she saw Nick flash her a smile and she felt, what she was sure was her baby box talking once again.

Nick directed her to the couch, where there was already his pillows and doona from his bed, waiting for her and season one of cheers paused on the tv screen.

"Nickkkkkkkk" She tried to hide the smile from her lips. Holy hell, what a man. She shook her head and shuffled under his blanket, to quickly be greeted by a plate of pop tarts being placed on her lap.

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly. Taking a deep breath as to convince himself to be a little flirty, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Her eyes began to water a little as she kept her eyes on his.

"Are you okay? Does it really hurt?" A worried look started to fall on his face as he placed his palm to her forehead to check her for a fever.

"No, Nick, I'm okay. I mean, yeh it hurts but I'm a woman, we deal with these things." She laughed a little as she grabbed his hand from her forehead and held it in her lap. Oh boy, she thought, here comes those hormones.

"No one's ever done this for me." She sobbed a little and he let a relaxed smile take over his lips. "Honestly, I don't even know what to say."

He gave her hand a squeeze as the microwave beeped, standing up and moving to the kitchen, he returned with a heat pack and a couple of ibuprofen tablets.

"I read on the internet that heat is good." He smiled, passing her the pack and sitting down beside her stretched out legs. "Sit up for a minute." He helped her up and passed her the pills, followed by a freshly made cup of tea. "And according to girlfriend magazine, these are your best friends." He said all matter of factly, causing her to let out a laugh.

"How are you still single, Miller?" She held his gaze, both of them smiling now.

"Guess I'm not into putting in work for just anyone, Day."

* * *

They watched TV for a little while, her legs on his lap as they shared the chocolate he had bought from the shops. Not really saying much, just Jess going on and on about how she likes to imagine Sam and Diane are married with five kids and a Labrador somewhere in Boston right now. Nick just agreed with her.

By the time Schmidt got home, it was almost dinner time and Nick was starving, but Jess seemed comfy and his role wasn't to look after himself today.

"Is the power out? Why are you two in the dark? Should I be scared to look?" Schmidt busted through the door and suddenly Nick wasn't so Zen anymore.

"Turn the light back off, Schmidt!" Jess hissed as Schmidt made his way to where the two were comfortably situated.

"I'm not sure if you know this, Jessica, but sadly, the world doesn't stop turning when Aunt Flow comes to visit."

"Don't be a jerk, Schmidt." Nick busted in before Jess could say a word. "You don't know what Jess is going through right now. Her uterus lining is literally shedding, okay?"

Schmidt snorted and Jess suddenly went from mad to extremely fascinated in the best way possible.

"What have you done to him?" Schmidt stared at Jess with a humoured smile.

"This guy is just full of surprises." Jess couldn't hide her smile as she shook her head.

Nick gave her a wink as he slid off the couch, placing a pillow under her feet where his body was.

"I'm gonna go get some dinner. Any requests?" Nick looked between the two of them.

"Thai!" Schmidt yelled at the exact same time Jess yelled "pizza!" and they began having yet another stare off across the lounge room.

"Pizza it is!" Nick cheered as he dipped into the bathroom to clean himself up, Jess giving Schmidt a cocky grin.

* * *

Nick returned about a half hour later with way too many boxes of pizza to feed the four of them, but girlfriend magazine had told him that women's appetites can increase immensely during menstruation and the magazine had only done right by him so far.

Jess, Schmidt and Winston hopped up from their position in front of Cheers and made there was to the dining table where Nick had placed the boxes. He pulled out a chair for Jess and grabbed a beer for the guys, asking her what she felt like.

"The wine in the fridge will do me just fine, thank you kind sir."

"Is that allowed, Jess? To be drinking right now?" Nick let the concern show in his voice.

"Oh my god." Winston turned to Schmidt, who replied with an eye roll.

"Just a glass of wine, Nick, it's fine." She giggled.

The four of them sat around the table. Winston complaining about maybe making the wrong move breaking up with Shelby. Schmidt talking about this new crazy sex contract he had with his boss and Nick catching Jess watching him across the table every now and then.

It was nice. The four of them hanging out. Something they didn't get much time to do as of late. And despite Jess' earlier melt down about wanting the other two gone, she felt much more relaxed and even happy that they were all where they were right then.

Nick grabbed Jess' plate once she was done eating, completely forgetting about the other two until Schmidt cleared his throat.

"Say, Schmidt, aren't you feeling a new kind of vibe in the loft since this morning?" Winston spoke curiously and it really made Jess' gears begin to grind, knowing exactly what he meant. Nick choked a little on his beer – he knew what they meant too.

"You don't have to tell me, Winston. I know exactly what's going on." Schmidt mumbled. Nick shot a look at Jess and began to speak.

"I for one, have no id-"But he was soon interrupted.

"Shut up, Nick. We don't have to explain anything about _us_ to these idiots. One of them is boning their boss while the other just broke up with his perfect girlfriend. And you know what?" She pushed her chair out and stood up. "Nick has been nothing but perfect, today. He's a real man, unlike you two. He always looks out for me and he cares so much. This man might just be my favourite man on the planet." She marched over to Nick, noticing how Winston and Schmidt looked on in anticipation. "I'm so glad you're around, Nick." She whispered, only to him and then leaned up on her tip toes, hesitating for just a moment before she chickened out and kissed him on the cheek. His face increasing a million degrees at the feeling. Then, she made a beeline straight for her room, beginning to feel the embarrassment of her outbreak take over, her embarrassment for the fact she almost kissed Nick lifeless in the middle of the kitchen, she slammed the door behind her.

"Nice one, idiots." Nick mumbled as he turned to his bedroom thinking over and over how obvious she had made it that she wanted to kiss him, but she didn't.

* * *

It was almost 9pm when Jess' phone lit up with a message from Nick. A smile fell across her face as soon as she saw it.

 _How's my favourite roommate?_

She let off a sigh.

 _Could be better if her favourite roommate paid her a visit._

Two minutes later, Nick knocked softly on her door in a fresh shirt and pj pants. She was sat up with a novel in her lap, glasses slipped down her nose and a messy ponytail in her hair. She bit her bottom lip as she gave him a smile.

He gave her a soft smile back as he sat down behind her, flicking her pony tail over her shoulder, he began to gently massage her back.

She moaned a little and he would be lying if he said this wasn't possibly the most content AND turned on he had ever felt, the two almost cancelling each other out. Her eyes shut and she let her head fall back onto his shoulder, he took her in for a minute. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The most he had ever felt for one human being. Was sat right in front of him. And he knew he loved her. He always had. But her sitting there, vulnerable like this, body leaning against his, that was the first time he let his heart admit it to his mind.

"I think it's time for you to hit the hay, Jessica." He shook himself out of the moment he was having, noticing she was almost falling asleep in his arms. She blinked her eyes open and smiled.

"Mmmmm" She objected. But he stood her up and pulled back her blankets.

"Come on." He placed her book on the bed side table, taking her glasses from her face.

"Sleep tight." He tucked her in and headed for the door and her heart rate went up at the thought.

"Wait, Nick?" She spoke fast. "Not sure if your research mentioned this, but uhhh…" She giggled. "Spooning is actually a really good comfort strategy…"

"Oh, uhh, yeh you're right. I did see that…" Playing along with her little game, he flicked off the light and jumped under the covers behind her. Wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into his body.

"I feel better already." She chuckled, lacing her fingers through his and dosing off to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, she woke up to his body perched slightly over hers, his hands running circles on her tummy. She had never slept better in her life.

"I'm really sorry, Jess." His voice was barely above a whisper as he broke the silence.

"For?" She mumbled, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know. Everything. That you have to go through all this." He pointed to the packet of tampons on her bedside table. "That we live with a bunch of losers..." Then his hands suddenly stopped moving and his eyes went serious. "That I didn't kiss you last night, in the kitchen."

She couldn't contain the smile as she looked up at him, looking into her eyes, she could see the nerves written all over his face.

"I mean, there is one part of that we can change pretty easily, Miller." Her voice was soft and tinged with a flirty tone.

"I mean, Jess, I'm not sure we could make either of them move out." He smirked.

"Shut up." She giggled as she pulled his mouth down to hers.


End file.
